Chicken State News

News for the billions.

Rules

  • All commands of Lord Cluckingsworth orders must be obeyed.
  • Police can only use force that has been used against them.
  • No smoking anything, anywhere, anytime ever.
  • Motorways speed limit is 120kph, Rural roads 90kph, Urban roads 50kph but these limits may be reduced or extended but will be clearly sign-posted.
  • Speed cameras do not have to be marked and have to be automated to send automatic tickets to the offender.
  • All animals which are not citizens of the empire have to be chipped.
  • Any animals which are ridden as transport have to be tagged with a transmitter so cameras can keep track of them.
  • Drones must not go above private property not owned by them at a height of below 10 metres.
  • The average age of empire chickens is 16 years old and they start school at 2 finish at 4 and must conscript at 6 they go into retirement at 12.
  • The average age of normal chickens is 6 to 12 years and they go to school from 2 to 4 must conscript at 5 and retire at 6 to 10 based on breed.
  • The average age of pigs is 20 years old and they go to school at the age of 2 and finish at 3, they must conscript at 6 and retire at 15.
  • The average age of meerkats is 13 years old and they go to school at the age of 2 and finish at 3, they must conscript at 6 and retire at 10.
  • The average age of ducks is 8 years old and they go to school at the age of 1 and 2 and then have to conscript at the age of 3 and retire at 7.
  • The average age of whales is 55 years old and they go to school at the age of 3 and 4 and then have to conscript at the age of 10 and retire at 48
  • The average age of albatross is 42 years old and they go to school at the age of 3 and 4 and then have to conscript at the age of 10 and retire at 38.
  • The average age of ducks is 12 years old and they go to school at the age of 3 and 4 and then have to conscript at the age of 5 and retire at 10.
  • The average age of ducks is 18 years old and they go to school at the age of 3 and 4 and then have to conscript at the age of 5 and retire at 16.
  • At the age of conscription all citizens are given a gun and bullets and are trained for 3 months and have to keep these in top shape.
  • All systems are kept on the Chicken systems but a backup Morse code line must be kept between all communication distribution centers where messages for the surrounding area are told to people in person in the event of lack of communication.
  • CEX is always in either blue (less than 2% chance of attack), green (low level attack possible but not likely), white (low alert – possible attack so increased police), grey (direct threat to CEX but not ‘mass destruction’ then there will be soldiers on the road), black (Direct threat which is classed as ‘mass destruction’ or SGW which is an immediate nation wide evacuation.

 

 

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